October 2013 – Page 4

October 11, 2013Feminism

Challenge cynicism on the International Day of the Girl

It doesn’t take much effort to find feminism cynics out there. In fact, it’s pretty darn easy to find cynics of every variety. Sometimes it’s hard to even see past the blanket of cynicism that hangs over nearly everything. It’s easier to say feminism (or healthcare reform or food stamps, etc.) is unneeded, unwarranted, overblown or downright evil than it is to accept that we live in a challenging world that requires us to examine our beliefs and behaviors and move out of our comfort zones to make life better for others. I get that. It’s tough, and the evidence is everywhere.

What did surprise me though, was a feature on Malala Yousafzai on BBC radio this week. The first half of the report included people from her hometown in Pakistan talking about how her reputation was overblown, raising suspicions about whether or not the girl who was so famously shot in the head for standing up for her right to go school was even injured at all, and generally stating that she shouldn’t come back. While their cynicism was shocking enough, as the BBC reporter transitioned into her interview with Malala, she said she was actually surprised to discover what a poised, sincere and believable young woman she was.

Really? You’re surprised that a teenager who stood up for girls’ right to education against the Taliban, faced an assassination attempt, recovered from a bullet to the head and is still actively campaigning is a sincere person? That is a surprise? In what world could such a person be anything but?

Today, for International Day of the Girl, we’re asked to think about human trafficking of women and girls, the oppression of rights and a great deal of suffering. None of it is easy to consider. It is easier to believe that it doesn’t really occur, or that it’s not really that bad or that there is nothing we can do to change it if it does. If we can do one thing to honor International Day of the Girl, it should be to challenge this cynicism. It should be to allow ourselves to believe in the sincerity of these struggles and those are fighting against them.

I we would be amazed by the difference that could be made by simply opening our minds. Just believing that struggles of others exist and that they are not the fault of those struggling. If we can give this day the benefit of the doubt, perhaps we can learn to apply that to all areas our lives. Maybe we can recognize the struggles of others as an opportunity to make the world better, not an affront to our own comfort. Maybe then, after we’re able to wrap out minds around it, we’ll start moving toward becoming a world about which we can say sincerely, rather than cynically, that this kind of suffering and inequality doesn’t exist. We’re just not there yet.

October 10, 2013October 10, 2013General Life Whatnot

Happy Sociopath Awareness Day!

Didn’t know it was sociopath awareness day? Yeah, well, I just decided that in honor of former Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick’s sentencing, today was as good a day as any to talk about sociopaths. As Jack Lessenberry pointed out yesterday, Kwame definitely falls under the description of a sociopath: he is charming, intelligent and totally incapable of empathy.
We’d like to think people capable of the level of narcissism required to bleed a deeply troubled city of an estimated $20 million just for funsies is a rarity, but sadly, it’s not. According to psychologist and author of The Sociopath Next Door Marta Stout, sociopaths make up 4 percent of the population. I don’t know about you, but sometimes it seems like I’ve met all of them.

Seriously though, that’s one in every 25 people who are incapable of caring about other people, and extremely capable of leaving trails of hurt and destruction behind them as they blaze through life. Many are smart enough to not break laws as they do so, so society doesn’t have the luxury of putting them in jail, like we can happily do to Kwame. Sometimes the only prey on those least likely to reveal them for who they are, like children or the poor. One of the most chilling examples of a sociopath is an incredible story CNN recently ran about a sociopath who killed a little girl as a teenager and then spent more than 50 years terrorizing nearly everyone he came into contact with. But besides the murder no one knew about, he largely avoided breaking the law, so he got away with nearly everything. It’s a long read, but super worth it.

The point is, sociopaths are everywhere. They’re controlling and manipulative, they use people and care only for themselves. They are also often charismatic, successful, socially active people whom no one suspects anything is wrong with. There are resources out there that can be helpful in identifying and dealing with them, including Stout’s book. The best advice, I think, is exactly what Lessenberry advises everyone with regard to Kwame after his prison doors shut behind him: cut off all contact, deny them any attention, and protect yourself from them at all costs.

That said, we have to watch out for each other as well. We should talk about sociopathy, how to recognize it and how to get away from it. Because we’ve all just got this one life to live, and we should spend it surrounded by the other 96 percent of humanity.

October 9, 2013October 17, 2013Self-Employment Writing

Swedish Lessons at The Eyrie in Ypsi!

One of the things I miss most about the job I left to become a freelance writer is how social it was. I love people. And though my work life is nothing like the stereotypical writer, sitting alone at a typewriter, gazing through a window in deep thought, there is a certain amount of isolation involved. That’s what makes reading events like the upcoming “Swedish Lessons and Champagne” event at The Eyrie in Ypsilanti so exciting for me. Humans! Humans with me! Doing things! Saying things!

What will make it exciting for those humans? Besides getting to spend an evening with me and my book? Swedish Lessons readings are actually quite a bit of fun (if I do say so myself). Besides doing the reading itself, I like to share some Swedish foods that are mentioned in the book, and at this very special event at The Eyrie, we’ll also be enjoying some champagne, because what better reasons to celebrate is there than the fact that it’s a Friday and we’re eating Swedish snacks together?
Another super cool part of the reading experience is the question and answer session. I wasn’t sure what to expect from this initially, nor how to properly phrase the question, “OK, go ahead and as me questions about me and my book about me. Because I very interesting, I know.”

But the questions I have been getting have been really fascinating, and I’m really excited to see what people ask next. Some of my favorites have been:

Are you okay? (I’m fine, thanks.)

Who would play you in a movie? (This actually has a really interesting answer that I won’t include on the internet, but does actually involve Brad Pitt. Not playing me, but you’ll have to ask me in person for details.)

So, was there anything good that happened in Sweden? (I still sleep on a Tempur Pedic pillow, so my neck is pretty happy about that.)

So join us! “Swedish Lessons and Champagne” is taking place next Friday, Oct. 18 at 9 E. Cross St. in Ypsilanti’s Depot Town at 7pm. There will be books, friends, champagne and knäckebröd – and two gastronomic items have never been better paired.