The same photo has been the wallpaper on my phone for years now. Gunshy in a bow tie was the obvious choice before he died last May, and it never even occurred to me to change it. Until yesterday. I might have gone on gazing on my departed little boy a hundred times a day indefinitely, but another baby boy showed up in my family this week, and everything in the world has changed. When my sister shared a photo of herself and her two-day-old son at home in front of the Christmas tree, my heart exploded, my brain fell out of my head, and all I wanted to do with the rest of my life is stare at that baby.
Ok, chaos. Fine.
There is a certain degree of chaos that I deal on a daily basis. If you’ve met our dog Lois, you know what I mean. But there’s also chaos involved with any type of freelancing, which varies from day to day, but is always around to some degree. Sure, being a freelancer frees you from the overbearing boss and demands for your presence that aren’t necessary, but those annoyances are replaced by others. And generally, chaos is the theme of most of them.
One day recently, I was yelling at Lois for licking the dishes in the dishwasher (which she always does, despite always being yelled at for it), and I thought, “Why isn’t Lois allowed to lick the dishes?”
f
Tiny celebrations for tiny victories. Super tiny.
About 20 minutes ago, for the first time since about Saturday afternoon, I felt caught up. Not finished for the day. Not ahead. Just not drowning. I celebrated by brushing my teeth. I’ve got big plans to take the party grocery shopping in a few minutes (seriously, I’m sort of passionate about grocery shopping. Super pumped about it). After that I’ll buckle down and doggie paddle through the rest of the day.
I don’t mention this to enter the I’m-busier-than-you fray, because I abhor the glorification of busyness. I feel lucky to be having a busy month, but I have slow months too, and moderately-paced months. I mention it because I believe in the power of celebrating tiny victories. In fact, I think it’s a necessity. Too often we’re so focused on long term goals – buying the house, paying off the student loans, getting the big break, winning at life – that we wait too long between celebrations. And it’s exhausting to be always toiling and never celebrating. Celebrating is fun. If we’re not finding reasons to celebrate, even tiny ones, then what are we doing with our lives, people?
Natalie Burg 